25 things…volume one, February 20, 2009
1. I love you, Tammy.
2. I know I’m fat; I’m working on losing it.
3. I quit drinking because I discovered I was becoming a huge pain in the ass.
4. I really DID want to draw your portrait. Seriously.
5. It was really hard being short, smart, shy, and the only boy with glasses in my junior high. I got viciously teased for three years by nearly everyone…even some of the girls. Terry Rollison, if you’re out there, thank you for not being one of them. You made the difference.
6. When I was 14, I could run the 100 metres in under 12 seconds. I know, big deal. But I could.
7. For those of you who were my students and have told me how much you appreciate having had me as a teacher, the thought makes me smile every day. You kids gave me more than I ever could’ve given you. Thank you. I mean that.
8. I gave up teaching for a while because I was tired of being thought of by administration as somehow second-rate.
9. It’s only hair, guys. Save your money and say to hell with Rogaine.
10. All those self-help books are just complete nonsense. Put your boots on and kick yourself in the ass. You probably needed it, anyway. I know I did.
11. The most important thing in your life isn’t stuff. I started throwing stuff out when I turned 35. At the time of writing, I’m nearly 44, and you should see the size of the pile!
12. I’ve discovered two simple truths. The first is to never tell ’em everything.
13. I really don’t care about what people think of me. I’m me. Deal with it.
14. It’ll get done when it gets done. There’s only one of me.
15. I don’t know a lot; I just know where to find it.
16. I don’t need to see photos of you drunk. I’ve been there; it’s not pretty.
17. “Tough times don’t last; tough people do.” – Dr. Robert Schuller
18. I don’t want your chain emails; send them somewhere else.
19. Life’s too short to not smile once in a while.
20. Never take yourself too seriously. You have no idea how goofy you look.
21. I quote Mark Twain a lot. Fortunately, he was usually right.
22. I need my money, so I’m frugal. My time, on the other hand, is free.
23. Ask me nicely, and you’ll probably get the answer you wanted.
24. I’m a guy. We look, ladies. Get over it.
25. George Carlin was too smart for the rest of us. R.I.P., George…