25 Things…Part 2, April 29, 2009
1. I still love you, Tammy. More, even.
2. Some of the best music was written and performed in the early 1970s. It might make me seem old to some of you, but it should. I’m probably more than twice your age.
3. I just work at Wal-Mart; I’m not looking for a career there. But changes are likely coming…
4. I’m serious about the email chain letters. DON’T SEND ME ONE!
5. If you feel the need to send me something, just make it a real message. I don’t have time to sift through the cute stuff.
6. I really don’t know everything. But I really DO know where to find it.
7. You can’t have everything; where would you put it all?
8. The perfect gift for someone who has everything is something to put it in.
9. Items 7 and 8 came from my paternal grandfather and grandmother respectively. They were a perfect match for each other. R.I.P.
10. Every time I get a haircut, there’s less and less to cut. Shouldn’t I pay less each time?
11. A wise man knows when to shut up. A husband almost always crosses the line.
12. “I’m sorry” doesn’t necessarily mean “You’re right.”
13. I get less and less attached to “stuff” as I get older. Now I realize most of it is just SHIT.
14. I really did quit drinking in 1988 because I was becoming a complete asshole. I’m happy with just being a partial asshole.
15. Every new husband must know — and MEAN — these sentences: “I love you;” “I’m sorry;” “I was wrong;” “It was all my fault;” and “I’ll try my hardest to make sure it never happens again.”
16. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t NOBODY happy.
17. The portraits you see on my Facebook albums are really drawn by me. No art school, no lessons, just curiosity and years of practice. Good work takes time.
18. To my former students: it’s been interesting watching you become adults. Some of you have made me proud, some of you have made me blush, and some of you have made me nauseous. Some of you have done all three.
19. I didn’t realize how many people I knew until I started my Facebook page. Most of you are younger than me. Some of you are a LOT younger than me.
20. I REALLY don’t need to see your photos of the party last weekend. Read item #18 for the reason.
21. A finely-tuned engine shouldn’t be audible from blocks away! BUY A DECENT EXHAUST SYSTEM!
22. My wife and I belong to the Lions Club because we see too much not getting done by people who seem to need rewards to do the right thing. Lions Serve!
23. I respect and value one thing above all. If you know me, you know what that is.
24. Here’s 35 cents…call someone who gives a shit.
25. Someday, I will work for myself. Lane, Nickey…you know what I mean.